For Wedding Guests: The Gift of an RSVP

There is one simple act of kindness-it takes two minutes and costs nothing-that you can do for the bride and groom. You will not receive a thank you note, but this act will be greatly appreciated by everyone planning the wedding: RSVP as soon as you receive your invitation. Don’t delay! Walk right over to your calendar and see if you have anything else going on. If there is no conflict, then don’t wait to see if something else comes up-pencil this wedding on that day. If you do have a prior engagement then check, “respectfully decline,” (it’s an option) on the RSVP card, and send it back. You may have already noted the event because of the “Save the Date” card that the couple sent out. The RSVP card is pre-addressed and pre-stamped-again, it costs you nothing, and it’s a nice thing to do.

R.S.V.P. is an acronym for the French phrase, “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please reply.” This is a form of etiquette that has followed us from the French court of King Louis XIV in the late 17th and early 18th centuries until now. It is still needed. I’ve seen too many brides in an absolute panic two weeks before the wedding because less than half the invitees have RSVPed. Weddings are expensive, and the event planners need to know as soon as possible how many plates they are paying for. I find in most cases that people do plan on attending, they just don’t take the two minutes required to respond. Worst case scenario: you RSVP yes and something does change, then you call and explain your situation within a reasonable amount of time.

I know these days it’s become blasé to RSVP because of the What if something better comes along factor that text messaging lends to. Weddings, however, are an all-day event, so if you’re going then plan on being there for many hours. Unless there’s an equally important event that you’re going to try to make it to, such as another wedding or graduation party, then your whole day will center be around the wedding. It’s just as important to respond if you’re not going. If you RSVP your regrets then you don’t owe an explanation as to why you can’t attend, whereas if the wedding party has to contact you and ask then there’s more pressure to give a reason why. If the bride or groom has to call or e-mail you to find out if you’re coming or not, then you owe that person an apology.

For the Happy Couple: Thank you, Thank you Very Much

I read a horror story in USA Today a year or so ago. Apparently a couple living somewhere outside Seattle sent out a mass e-mail thanking everyone for attending their wedding and for all the “really nice gifts.” I know e-mail is quick and convenient, but it can also be cold and impersonal. When it comes to thanking the group of people you chose to spend your wedding day with you, then they deserve a more meaningful gesture of appreciation.

That being said, I also know how overwhelming a long list of thank you notes to write can be especially after the titanic task of planning the wedding. First off, don’t be afraid to ask your new husband for help. This can be the first project you do as a married couple. Second, enjoy it. Handwritten notes are guaranteed to make someone’s day, so you’re offering sincere gratitude and making people smile all in one simple act. Lastly, remember thank you notes don’t have to be long. You can send a short message that’s easy for you to write and special for them to receive. Here is a four-sentence thank-note formula in case you need help:

Sentence 1

Thank Them for the Gift: Simple enough, right? Just start off by mentioning the gift itself. For example, “Thank you for the candle holders.” Or if you want to go the ultra-enthusiastic Emily Post route you can say, “The candle holders are divine!”

Sentence 2

Elaborate on How You Plan to Use the Gift: Take the gift one step further and talk about how you’ve used it or plan to use it. For example, “We dined with them just last night.” Or, “We’re having a dinner party this Saturday, and I can’t wait to show them off.”

If You Didn’t Like the Gift: You can skip this sentence. Still thank them for the gift, but there’s no need to lie and gush about it if you don’t like it. You could also have two sentences thanking them for attending the wedding, which is described below.

Sentence 3

Thank Them Again for Attending Your Wedding: Use the third sentence as an opportunity to enthusiastically thank them for taking the time to attend the main event.  For example, “Above all, thank you for traveling such a long to distance to be with us on our wedding day-it really meant a lot to us.” Or “More than that, thank you for coming to our wedding and lighting up the dance floor.” If they were unable to attend the wedding but sent a gift then you can tell them how much you missed them at the ceremony.

Sentence 4

Mention When You’ll See Them Again: A good way to end your thank you note is by mentioning when you’ll see the person again, “I can’t wait to see you at Thanksgiving.” Or, “We’ll have to have you over for dinner just a soon as we’re settled.”

There are no rules to writing thank you notes (only that you write them), but if you use this guide you note should resemble something like this:

Cynthia,

The picture frame you sent is gorgeous! It’s sitting on the mantle with our favorite honeymoon photo in it. Thank you so much for trekking out to Jersey for our wedding-you looked amazing in that vintage blue dress. We’ll look forward to seeing you again at Marci’s wedding in August.

Lots of love,

Jason & Samara

Giftsin24.com and Samara O’Shea are pleased to announce the winner of their National Card and Letter Writing Month Essay Contest.

Don Blankenship was a bit of a trouble maker in his youth. Looking back, he’ll willingly admit that he was hungry for attention, but I’m sure at the time he would have said no such thing. It’s safe to assume that he was not the type of teenager who would have been moved by a letter from his grandmother. Why then, all these years later, does he still hold  tightly to a simple missive she wrote to him in honor of his graduating from high school? It was his thorough explanation of his relationship with his grandmother’s letter that moved us. His story is a great reminder of the power of retrospect. It is a gift to look back at a situation and see it with new eyes. It’s how we uncover ourselves. We are pleased to share with you Don’s winning essay and his grandmother’s letter.

Letter from a Poignant Pen

By Don Blankenship

At the time, it didn’t seem like much, a handwritten note scribbled on rose colored stationary. Gripped with the excitement of my impending high school graduation, I nonchalantly tucked it into a shoe box in my closet. When things died down, I would make the time to send the obligatory thank-you note. After all, my grandmother would understand. She knew how I had worked for this moment, and she would want me to take the time to revel in my success. Her closing lines had summarized this fact so succinctly: “Remember to stop and enjoy the view, but never dally too long, there are other mountains to climb. You, dear one, are among the best of mountaineers.”

Characteristic of her lighthearted sense of humor, she had made a reference to my West Virginia heritage.  In the Mountain State, I had grown-up surrounded by my large immediate family: two brothers, two sisters, and myself. My parents worked diligently to meet our necessities, and as the family’s self proclaimed teenage rebel, I hadn’t made their lives easy. I was constantly skipping school, falling in with the wrong crowd, and testing any authority figure that would muster the courage to produce a challenge. My younger years were driven by vain attempts for attention-a product of intense sibling rivalry. I craved the spotlight and was less than reticent in securing its glow.

My grandmother, who lived several hours away in Northern Ohio, had sensed this longing. Although our relationship had consisted of a few stolen moments during school breaks and on holidays, somehow, she had a special way of making me feel important. At times, it seemed as if I was the only person in her world. My success and happiness took precedent above her personal indulgences. Freely she offered devotion, and as a young egotist, I satiated myself in her attention. Of course, a milestone such as my graduation would warrant a written response. While the letter wasn’t particularly lengthy, I could almost feel the emotion emanate from its pages.

I never got around to writing that thank you letter. Grandma died that summer of cardiovascular disease; however, the letter she wrote is no longer relegated to the recesses of my closet. It sits neatly folded in a decorative glass jar on my nightstand. When the obstacles seem too multiple to bear or my heart is filled with bliss over life’s numerous joys, I remove the letter and savor its wisdom. It comforted me with the death of a close aunt, and I chuckled as I read it the day I graduated from college. Somewhere located in those few scrawled lines her spirit lives, continuing to reach out with so much consideration left to give.

Dear Grandson,

Congratulations on your graduation. I knew you could do it! Unfortunately, I cannot be there to watch you walk across the stage, but know that I am rooting for you. You have made me very proud.

It seems that only yesterday you were a baby, and now you are crossing one of life’s major milestones. Education is the stepping stone on the path to greatness, and you are well on your way. Remember to stop and enjoy the view, but never dally too long, there are mountains to climb. You, dear one, are among the best of mountaineers.

With much love,

Nana

Giftsin24.com and Samara O’Shea are pleased to announce the winner of their National Card and Letter Writing Month Essay Contest. We are pleased to share with you Don Blankenship’s winning essay and his grandmother’s letter.

From April 1st to May 1st 2009

Win a $150 Gift Certificate and 2 Books on Letter Writing & Keeping a Journal

Hi this is Samara O’Shea. I’ve written two books proclaiming my love of writing. If I told you that you had the power to make someone’s day, would you do it? I’m telling you: You have that power. There is a very simple act that takes a little bit of time and the best of intentions, and it’s guaranteed to put a smile on the recipient’s face. Write a letter! I kid you not. Even in today’s world of fast food and faster communication, a letter is still worth its weight in gold. It is proof positive that someone cares about you enough to sit down (rather than text on the go) and thoughtfully say thank you, I miss you, I love you, get well, or let’s get together. Imagine receiving a handwritten letter amidst all the junk mail and bills that usually clutter your mailbox. It’s a breath of fresh air. I count it among life’s greatest pleasures-right next to an afternoon at the spa.   

Participate in Giftsin24’s Essay Writing Contest for National Card and Letter Writing Month

Since the art of letter writing is to be cherished and (ideally) continued, there is a whole month dedicated to the cause. April is National Card and Letter Writing month (NCLWM). This year, we at Giftsin24 would like to invite you to participate by

• A) Writing a letter to someone you love and / or
• B) Entering our essay contest.

Essay Writing Contest Details and Prizes

In 500 words or less tell us about a letter you have held onto for years. What prompted you to keep it? Why does it mean so much to you? I look forward to reading your stories! Is now a good time to mention that I’ll be the judge? We’ve got some great prizes for you:

• a $150 gift certificate to shop for personalized stationery on www.giftsin24.com
• signed copies of both my books on letter writing and keeping a journal as a prize.

More details below. For National Card and Letter Writing Month this year, I’m going to write one letter each day of the month, and I’m going to blog all along the way-saying who I’m writing to and how long it’s been since they’ve heard from me. I invite you to follow along at LetterLover.net .

Essay Writing Contest Fine Print

Contestants will enter the essay writing contest by sending an e-mail. Please send your essays (500 words or less) as an attachment to Essay@giftsin24.com. Giftsin24.com will collect entries from April 1, 2009 to May 1, 2009. Samara O’Shea will review all entries and choose one winner to be announced on May 18, 2009. The winner will be contacted on May 18, 2009. Giftsin24 will award the winner a $150 gift certificate and two autographed books by Samara O’Shea (worth $19.95 each). Giftsin24 will feature the winner and the winner’s essay on its Web site.

What a pleasure it is to be here! Giftsin24 and I have decided to team up because we both share a love of the written word. All the technology in the world cannot replace the simple, thoughtful gesture of putting words (i.e. thoughts, passions, feelings) on paper. Those of us who think so should definitely stick together.

Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Samara O’Shea and I’ve written two books proclaiming my love of writing-For the Love of Letters: A 21st-Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing and Note to Self on Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits. Both books are for sale on this site, and I’ve even signed them.

For the Love of Letters: A 21st-Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing

Note to Self on Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits

If you want to find out more about me and my mission, visit my Web site www.LetterLover.net. I’m going to be here at Giftsin24 guest blogging regularly, so be sure to check back. We’ve got something fun in store for the month of April. I bet you didn’t know that April is National Card and Letter Writing month. It is. I kid you not! Thank you again for having me. I’ll be in touch soon.   
Sincere regards,

Samara