Sympathy Cards Dry Tears
Sending sympathy cards can be a thing of turmoil in a time of tedious dismay. But you can shine a light of hope on an otherwise unfortunate situation by showing your concern in a sympathy card. Sympathy cards have been around since the dawn of time, more or less, but have evolved just like the rest of us. While it is a difficult thing to be able to pull off a humorous sympathy card, it might be in the best favor of your recipient because it can award some smiles instead of tears.
Sympathy cards are best used in conjunction with funeral attendance and not in its replacement. Act as though the loss is your own. If in the situation of a loss, you would appreciate people’s concern and care, but would rather they not dwell too much on it for it would bring you down again.
Some people are very touchy when it comes to certain deaths or losses. I had a friend who was very emotional over a cat, and sometimes it requires some thinking out of the box. For example, in this case I made a cake shaped like a cat’s head and gave a photo album filled with pictures of the two. She was really touched. Sometime scrapbooks can help to commemorate people’s memories and help survivors to move on in a healthy and beneficial way.
You don’t want to just skim over the sympathy bit, you really want to get right inside of it. Make it hurt for just a second, show them that you feel their pain, too, and that it’s okay. Don’t gloss over the gory details, losing people is hard, it never gets easier, just worse. It’s important that during these times our friends know they can count on us, that we will be there for them no matter how ugly the times may seem, and times won’t get much uglier than the loss of a close relative like a parent, child or sibling.
In addition to the card, it is important to show how much you mean what you say in your card. Follow up with invitations to the movies or to go out shopping for a new wardrobe that will make them feel like a brand new person. Take them to a show to get them smiling again, showing them that life will go on and that they can be happy and do not need to dwell inside in their dismay. This is what good friends are for.
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Philip
That is a good idea, using the sympathy cards for a followup invitations to have fun later. To make your friend feel like a new person is a sentimental thought.
7 March 2010, 12:26 pmRichard Pauling
I agree with Mr. Hoffman’s suggestion — to not “gloss over the details.” When we are communicating with a friend or relative about loss, we should try to be specific and try to “come close” to the reason for the pain they are feeling. The natural tendency is to veer away from the subject of death and loss — but the main reason we are sending the sympathy card is to tell the recipient that we understand about their pain. So we should try to explain how and why we understand the pain they are experiencing.
13 March 2010, 9:47 amJuanita Harkins
On the subject of sympathy cards, Giftsin24 does also have a website for bereavement notes and funeral notes. The website is: http://www.funeralnotes.com
17 March 2010, 8:58 amThere is a place on the Giftsin24 home page where you can “click through” to the funeralnotes website.
Connie Rickert
I appreciate that Giftsin24 is holding this discussion at their site. It is not the subject matter that you read at other personalized stationery websites, but we need to exchange these thoughts in order to learn the best ways to be respectful of our friends and relatives when there is a time when there is a loss of life, and we want to do the right thing in dealing with the feelings of others. I did look at the site recommended above, http://www.funeralnotes.com, and I have made a note of it. I recommend it to the readers of these comments. Back to the point — it is important to send along a written missive to someone who is grieving. I agree with Mr. Hoffman that a written piece that can be held in the hand offers a special kind of sympathy.
23 March 2010, 9:12 amAlicia Calderon
I appreciate the exchanges above about loss, sympathy, and communicating one’s feelings. As a person who has lost two family members over the years, I find it important to read and discuss the emotions that occur when one suffers such such an event. It is so hard to have these conversations in person, so written exchanges like this are meaningful to me.
30 March 2010, 8:26 amDeron Sue Lee
More than any other time in our lives, it is when we have experienced the loss of a loved one that we appreciate the written thoughts of a friend or family member … there is nothing quite the same …
7 April 2010, 1:50 pm